I confess I have borrowed the title from Johan Ekenberg but it is true. God gave us the wonderful gift of sexuality not as a racy past time and not only as a means of reproduction but rather as a gateway to experience oneness and higher states of pleasure, bliss and consciousness. As Dossie Easton says: “believing that God doesn’t like sex, as many religions seem to, is like believing that God doesn’t like you.” Not only is sex a beautiful sacred gift to humanity it is also a foundational part of who we are.
“. . .the young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.” – Bruce Marshall
Desire is an alarm clock within us prompting us to reach out to seek for that which we have no name but rather a feeling, a deep longing; A deep down knowing that there should be something more, something deeper, something transcendent.
Every orgasm is a spiritual experience. Think of a moment of perfect wholeness, of yourself in perfect unity, of expanded awareness that transcends the split between mind and body and integrates all the parts of you in ecstatic consciousness.… When you bring spiritual awareness to your sexual practice, you can become directly conscious of—connected to—that divinity that always flows through you.… For us, sex is already an opportunity to see god. – Dossie Easton
According to the perennial tradition all of creation is one interconnected organism in god. All humans experience a separation from the divine and long to be reunited, for many people the sacred union in lovemaking is the closest they will ever come to union with another and therefore union with the divine.
I truly believe that our sexuality is a backdoor to the divine realm, it’s an express elevator to the highest of experiences, it is a highway to god.
But love-making also has numerous other benefits that makes our bodies and minds healthier. As we become more whole in ourselves we also draw closer to the divine within.
we believe that sexuality is vital to people’s sense of self-worth, to their belief that life is good. We have never met anyone who had low self-esteem at the moment of orgasm – Dossie Easton
I think most religious leaders would, if pressed acknowledge that our sexuality is god given (although some would still claim the old gnostic dichotomy where all physical and bodily functions are evil and draw you away from the divine spiritual realm) but we have a long way to go from grudgingly accepting sexuality as a gift from god, to celebrating it not only as a wonderful gift but also as a spiritual discipline, a tool or method to exercise spirituality or even worship the divine.
So here are a few tips to reclaim a sacred sexuality.
Create a sacred container – prepare the room with candles, music, incense and whatever else to make it feel like a sacred space. Make sure it’s comfortably warm and that the both of you feel that it is a sacred space.
Prepare the temple – Your body is the temple of the divine, it is the altar it is the sacred space. Take a bath or shower, make it a ritual cleansing, imagine as you clean that you are showered with divine light and love and that you are washing of stress, negativity and resentment.
Pray – As Christians we pray before having a meeting, we pray before we eat and we pray before we sleep. How about praying together before sex. Consecrating the act to the divine. How about praying during the act and connecting with god, feeling god’s presence in the waves of pleasure (it’s no coincidence that many people actually call on god as they are about to climax)
Look into each others eyes – The eyes are the window of the soul, take time to gaze into your beloveds eyes. Before love-making and during, especially during penetration. Also do not forget to linger in each others eyes afterwards
Slow down – When we create a sacred ritual intentionality is everything. We can’t rush spirituality and so we cannot rush love-making. Slow down, take time to enjoy and savour every step. The slow closing in, the first kisses, the undressing, the foreplay (make it as long as you can the foreplay is as big a part of the lovemaking as any other part), the penetration (especially the penetration), the actual act. Just slow everything down, and perform every movement of your body, every breath as it was sacred.
The big O – When rushing towards the goal of orgasm you are likely to miss the journey. So it might be a good idea to just remove the orgasm (yours and your partners) entirely from the table. Orgasms are awesome, if they happen it’s great but they are not necessary for a beautiful sacred love-making experience. Instead of seeking the orgasm simply be together and allow the orgasm if it happens, if it doesn’t then it doesn’t.
Integrate – Make sure you make space after to just integrate the experience, to lie down and feel the afterglow, the energy rushing through your body. The lingering sense of being held, physically and energetically. Don’t rush to clean up or do anything else. Slow down, stay, relax and let the effects of the love-making take hold.
In any case it is the mind-set and the heart that make a difference, if you centre in the heart and set the intention that you are doing something sacred it will be.