Three years ago give or take a few months I was attending a cosy evening with Alexander Rudenstam and Charlotte Cronquist. They where raving about this weeklong course they had just attended in Guatemala with Baba Dez Nichols. I was of course intrigued but at the same time terrified. As they where sharing the details of the course I thought to myself: There is no way I could do a course like that.
“I don’t know what I am doing here, they are all crazy!”
On the second day I am lying on the mattress just about to do a self love ritual and I am thinking: “Holy fuck, I am at that course” realising that I am about to do what I just a few months back thought impossible. And the course rolled on with impossible thing after another.
For the first time in my life I was completely free to be myself, to express every facet of myself the light and the dark. It was such a liberating and empowering experience. Little by little I had let go of the masks, the programs and the conditioning placed on me by society, friends, religion and by myself. I was free. I was slowly able to to start showing up in my power and my truth no fear, no shame, no guilt!
And the emotional release, oh my. I don’t think I have been crying, raging, screaming this much in my entire life as I expressed, released and emptied a lifetime of emotional baggage. Lighter and maybe for the first time in my life completely clear of emotional garbage wishing me down.
At the end of my week I write in my note book:
This is my tribe, this is my kind of crazy!
Coming home was hard of course. From the ultimate freedom to a society, social network and workplace that are all doing all that is in their power to make you conform, contract, to get back in the tiny box where you used to live.
Several trainings later, I have found I can live like this. I can be this free, I can live this large. I do not need to hide in shame or conform to the societal norm. I write my own story now!
It seems fitting that I will be co-facilitating the ISTA SSSex together with Baba Dez in January, coming full circle and now to give as a gift what I have received so abundantly from this work.
If you are interested in rebooting your life, reawakening to your power, re-establishing your personal truth and re-enter life as an empowered human being I can only recommend you join us on January 16 in Prague.