In the wake of my most recent post on how love is not static I would like to add some thoughts on what has been called relationship anarchy, a term coined by Dr Andy in 2004.
Dr. Andy writes:
“Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple. You have capacity to love more than one person, and one relationship and the love felt for that person does not diminish love felt for another. Don’t rank and compare people and relationships – cherish the individual and your connection to them. One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real. Each relationship is independent, and a relationship between autonomous individuals.”
If we live in an interdependent creation where everyone is connected to everyone else through an infinite number of connections all the way from sharing physical space and the air that we breathe to love connections. And if the divine source could be described as a relational god that is love, a ever flowing fluctuating stream of agape (unconditional love. Then as all relationships morph, change and transform we need new ways to relate to one another, we need a new story of how relationships work. Because when we label and frame a relationship we push it into a shape and form that might fit very well in the moment, but the next moment the actual living relationship will have changed and no longer fit the mould.
I also believe that this divine source of love is infinite and as the love flows into us and through us it is not limited to one other person or a few others. We are called to be conduits of this love not to a few but to all. The sacred scriptures of most religions tell us to walk in love and to let this love flow not just to the person of our choosing and our own family but also to the other, the stranger the ones that not part of our own little oikos. The Bible in particular states time and time again how we are to love and care for the stranger in the land.
Now we, as human beings, are prone to labelling and categorising, comparing and then meeting out truth love and justice in portions according to how precious or important the other is to us. But if we are to take on the challenge of the Christ we are to love our enemies with the same love that we love our neighbour, that we love our children,that we love our spouse, that we love ourselves and the same love with which we love the divine. With all our strength, all our soul, all our heart and all our mind.
If we could do away with the labels, the forms and the static ways of viewing our relationships and allow each relationship to each person around us be exactly what it is and what it is becoming, if we could let divine love flow into each relationship and not make the distinction of type or importance but rather just be love in all our relationships what then would the world look like?
- Our sacred journey
- Coming out …
- Relationship as a spiritual discipline
- I don’t understand what you are doing….
- Oh my, what a week!
- The sacred paths of relationships
- As far as I am concerned this is the end of your marriage!
- It’s not about sex
- What do we teach the children?
- True love
- The naked truth
- Relationship Anarchy
- Ten years later – any wiser?