Being Swedish, it has always been quite a challenge for me to really own my desire. In the church desire is in general frowned upon if not outright demonised, unless of course it is the desire for god. All other desire has at least in my mind been a temptation from the dark one. A hint of shadow, a reminder of all things unwanted.
Only recently have I understood that If I want to change something about myself I must first accept it, because what you resist persists.
Acknowledging or accepting my own desire has been hard, speaking or showing that desire even more so. As I have made this journey into the shadow (the un-acknowledged, unwanted parts of myself) I have come to understand that my desire is not evil, it is not bad and it is not ugly. Today I realise that all my desires are gateways to the divine, I embrace Pauls words that all is allowed and I accept this part of me, and after I accept it I celebrate it. I turn to the scriptures and realise that there is a lot for me to learn about voicing and owning my desire. To communicate it clearly and without shame.
The feelings I get when I see the high mountain ranges
—stirrings of desire, longings for the heights—
Remind me of you,
and I’m spoiled for anyone else!
Your beauty, within and without, is absolute,
dear lover, close companion.
You are tall and supple, like the palm tree,
and your full breasts are like sweet clusters of dates.
I say, “I’m going to climb that palm tree!
I’m going to caress its fruit!”
Oh yes! Your breasts
will be clusters of sweet fruit to me,
Your breath clean and cool like fresh mint,
your tongue and lips like the best wine.
When was the last time you actually spoke your desire as you looked upon your partner? Honestly and without shame? Saying exactly what you where thinking and what you would like to do? Today I really want to invite you to be real, to voice your desires and to see how they are all the longing for union, longing for transcendens.
As long as we repress and deny our desire we will be trapped in shadow so won’t you step with me, out into the light, naked and not ashamed.
