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The “Devil” made me do it!
Desire is part of who we are. We all have desires. Desires to be succesful, desires to be loved, desires to be touched. Many of us also struggle with voicing our desires. Perhaps because we fear that we are not worthy to have our desires met or perhaps because we fear what other people will […]
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Eros is calling!
I am watching the first season of Sandman on Netflix and I am taken aback by the powerful message about the importance of hope. Where in the end of episode for “No hope in hell”, the main character Morpheus, dream of the endless beats Lucifer Morningstar by invoking hope as the ultimate power. In the […]
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Theology – Why does it matter?
Theology, the word means words or teachings about theos (god or the divine). Do we really need more words about the divine? After all there are miles of shelves gathered around the libraries and bookshelves around the world with all the words. My feeling is that theology matters more than ever. It has been said […]
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After all this time …
Looking back and reaching forward What a journey it has been. This blog has been my refuge and companion through the last 15 years. It bears witness of a circutious trek through the very wilderness of faith, theology, life, sexuality and what it means to be human. So many posts, so many turns, so much […]
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And I will give you rest
Last night I dreamt that I was about to deliver a sermon in a small church with a few broken people in the audience. A young woman who just lost the love of her life, a group of elderly ladies that where angry that their world was changing to much, a young man who had […]
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7 ways to become a better lover over night
Whether we like it or not sexual prowess is one of the yardsticks we use to measure our self worth. Many of us feel that we fall short in the bedroom. Mostly this is due to a lack of practical sexual education when we grew up and a lack of communication between partners, we don’t […]
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Getting lucky
It’s just been New years eve and many of you have been out at different parties, dinners and get-togethers. Some of you may have had the aim “to get lucky” and some of you may feel that you did. It really disturbs me to hear people say that they are going out, hoping to get […]
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Theo-Erotic
You may have noticed that the blog changed title. This to reflect the changing tone and content of the blog over the past three years. As I started studying theology in earnest I started at a very broad spectrum deconstructing and reconstructing everything from creationism to eschatology. Slowly though I realised that the spirituality that […]
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What is Sacred Sexuality
I have an ambivalent relationship to the term sacred sexuality. Using the word seems to imply that there is such a thing as not sacred sexuality or unholy sexuality. To me Sacred sexuality simply means that I hold all sexuality sacred. All intimate moments are sacred whether or not we acknowledge that they are. I […]
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My ISTA Journey
December is often a month of reflection and introspection. I am looking backwards and thinking about the future So much has happened and my life has changed in so many significant ways. Three years ago give or take a few months I was attending a cosy evening with Alexander Rudenstam and Charlotte Cronquist. They where […]
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I am done explaining and apologizing…
I am scrolling through my Facebook feed and it seems to me that every Christian Network I am still a part of has become a battleground where arguments for and against a positive inclusive stance on LGBTQ issues are wielded as weapons to prove that the other side is heretical. There seems to be a […]
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Today I am angry
I am angry at the person who picked up a gun and murdered all those people in Orlando, I am angry at all the people who thinks that any kind of violence is justified in any situation. I am angry at the Christians who think that anything could justify these horrific actions. It doesn’t matter […]
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The straight and narrow
“For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matt 7.14 NRSV) There is this idea, because of this verse, that being a Christian should be difficult and hard and to that effect the church has through the centuries created different sets of […]
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As far as I am concerned this is the end of your marriage!
It would be quite a rude thing to say in any situation but this came from somebody who is really close to the family. Not from someone who has read a blog post or two or a flimsy Facebook friends but we have never met acquaintance. This is from someone who where among the first […]
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Oh for the love of god will you stop it!
Stop writing about the suffering of Jesus like it was good thing. Jesus pain and suffering was not good thing! We are not saved because of what we did to Jesus but in spite of it. The violence perpetrated against Jesus was humanity’s worst. like toddlers or pubescent teenagers we kicked and spat and pushed […]
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The road to pleasure
Pleasure is awesome. Pleasure is good for the soul and for the body and many people get a tantra massage because they want to experience more pleasure in their lives. This is all good, but we often forget that there is a reason that they we not experiencing the amount of pleasure we want in […]
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The great experiment
The last days I have been exposed to the marvellous jungle that is Human Design. I have skirted the system a few times before and always avoided to take a closer look but this time I was drawn in by a siren song and could not help myself but to respond to the call. According […]
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Happy Validation Day
It’s that day again, that day when it is mandatory to be romantic, to excel at gestures that convey care and romantic love. It has been branded the Hallmark holiday, but why do we so intensely love/hate Valentines day? First of all let’s recognise that it has nothing to do with love. Valentines is the […]
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Relationship as a spiritual discipline
There are many that would balk at the notion of spiritual discipline as discipline in itself has almost become a bad word in todays society. We talk about disciplining our children as a bad thing (especially in the Scandinavian countries) as we equate discipline with violence or physical force. Other will embrace the idea of […]
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The refugee crisis is more important than LGBTQi rights, sexuality, tantra and spiritual nonsense
I have had this expressed to me, maybe not in those exact words but the sentiment is there. Why focus on LGBTQi rights and human sexuality when there is poverty, war and other atrocities going on in the world? Coming out of the closet and breaking up with shame Coming out of the closet, owning […]
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The game that I have played
I had a beautiful cacao ceremony with Keith the Chocolate Shaman.We where sitting in the Sanctuary perched precariously on a slope going down to Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. The sun was shining in the background I could hear the birds and an occasional tuc tuck racing by. we lifted our cups and invite the spirit […]
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Let’s stop vilifying male sexuality
I am following the current debate over social media. Men are harassing women left and right. Normal men, Swedish sensitive men…. I get angry at the men for not knowing how to communicate and own their desires. I get angry at the whole party/dating scene devoid of both communication and clear boundaries. But deep down […]
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Tantra massage
Giving a tantra massage is such a privilege, watching someone relax deep into their body and journey with themselves, their emotions and their pleasure. I have been asked what a tantra massage feels like and thought I would share this testimonial from one of the sessions I gave recently. I arrived a little frozen, a […]
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I don’t understand what you are doing….
We are just shy of two months out of the closet. Two months of reactions to us publicly announcing that we have left the sacred path of monogamy and decided to practice ethical non-monogamy. There has of course been many reactions all the way from: you are leading people to hell, to wow, that is […]
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The sacred paths of relationships
There are so many paths one can take in life and everyone must choose their own path. There are career paths, spiritual paths and relationship paths. Personally I think that all paths are valid, however I think it is important that each path is chosen carefully and intentionally. One of the many reasons that I […]
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We are writing history!
This year has been a fantastic year, a year of change, a year of honesty and integrity, a year of new directions. But all of these thing are in the past what is exciting about this new years is what is coming! As I was talking to my beloved last night I realised that while […]
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Why celebrate Christmas?
Today I was challenged, why do I celebrate this commercial holiday and pass it on to my children. What could possibly merit the perpetuation of this madness? I do, in fact have an issue with the entire Christmas hype. The manic shopping the gruelling pressure to get presents right and to pretend that everything is […]
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Oh my goddess! (or radical monotheism)
There are some people out there that have been disturbed by the fact that I am talking about the goddess and assume by that that I have left the Christian path. Because let’s face it while we as Christian give lip-service to the fact that god may not be a “he” and perhaps even can […]
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Letting our place of shame become our power
This weeks teaching on earth, birth, blood and sexuality we talked a lot about the blood mysteries within the Christian tradition. It interesting to note that while the early tradition has no such qualms the priestly tradition has a real issue with bodily fluids in general and bleeding women in particular. A bleeding woman was […]
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Earth, birth, blood and sexuality
It is that time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Or at least that is the excuse we have to go all nuts with lights, chocolate, food and presents. In many ways Christmas has become the holiday of commercialism … which in one way is fitting as money is earth energy. But […]
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What do we teach the children?
Being poly is no picnic as there are no written scripts or handbooks in how to actually live it (sure there are some good books out there, but they all state the same thing, we make it up as we go along). But one of our trickiest dilemmas have been: what do we teach the […]
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Freedom
For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (NRSV) It is a pertinent question, why did god give us freedom? Why where we burdened with choice? Hindsight being 20/20 it seems that it was a mistake to allow the human race […]
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Spirituality, Sexuality, Social justice
This is the teaching shared at the first MCC heart gathering in Malmö on the 6th of December 2015. The Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), also known as the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC), is an international Protestant Christian denomination. There are 222 member congregations in 37 countries, and the Fellowship has a specific […]
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Did I go to far?
After more than half a decade of deconstruction I face this question. It all started with deconstructing our worldview and how we view god. Moving on to deconstruct our traditions and our ways of being Christian. This is not weird and is done all the time. In progressive circles the hermeneutics of different Christian […]
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I am Queer!
I remember last time I walked with the pride parade in Malmö, I had walked the parade many times before but last time was special, it was the first time I felt that I was walking not just in solidarity, not just a straight ally but this time I was walking for myself. I was […]
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Falling in love
It’s a funny phrase isn’t it. We say that we fall in love like it was an open manhole cover on our way to work. Like we have nothing to do with it, like it is completely out of our control. We seem to think that love over powers us and strong-arms us into submission […]
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True love
Disney has time and time again claimed that there is no higher power than this, that true love’s kiss is the most potent magic of all. This does of course come with the caveat that you can only have one true love and that comes with the constant fear that you may or may not […]
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Tantric what???
A friend of mine pointed out that I talk a lot about tantra, but I never explain what it is. So here is my attempt at offering a brief view on what tantra is and the tantric tradition has to offer. Wikipedia defines tantra as: Tantra, also called Tantrism and Tantric religion, is an ancient […]
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I love you just the way you are ….
I am cleaning the house and dancing around the apartment with the monster we call a vacuum cleaner singing cheesy love songs. I find myself singing along to Billy Joel’s “Just the way you are” thinking it’s a song about accepting the other radically, unconditionally. I said I love you and that’s forever And this […]
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The naked truth
Another week has past since I posted “Our sacred journey” and there have been countless of private messages and questions, ranging from: “How dare you?” to “Congratulations, now tell me how I can get there.” Although in every conversation there is this dancing around the question: But are you having sex with others, outside of […]
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Relationship Anarchy
In the wake of my most recent post on how love is not static I would like to add some thoughts on what has been called relationship anarchy, a term coined by Dr Andy in 2004. Dr. Andy writes: “Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real […]
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Love is not static
It is especially true in relationships, love keeps changing and transforming and unless we change and transform with love we will “fall out of love”. The minute we freeze frame the relationship or our image of our partner, we are no longer dealing with reality or life, then we are dealing with a construct of […]
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Reclaiming eros
Love is such an important word. Regardless of who you are and what path you follow love is somehow at the centre of things. Love is a many splendoured thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love! (Moulin Rouge) In the sacred scriptures of the Judeo-Christian tradition there are four […]
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Oh my, what a week!
Today is fathers day and I am promptly staying in bed, drinking tea and slowly looking at the world and my life with awe and wonder. Earlier in the week I had a lunch with a friend who told me that to boost her ego she would look at the girls from school who used […]
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It’s not about sex
In the past week I have been in countless conversations about mine and Hanna’s chosen path. For the most part it has been deep and meaningful conversations where some parts of our journey and the sharing of it has been deeply healing for someone. Some conversations have been less than friendly and a very small […]
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How tantra saved our marriage
Anyone that was around when Hanna and I met knows that we had such an energetic attraction that generated sparks. And anyone we ever met assumed that when we got married that vibrant passion was carried into the marriage and into the bedroom with us. Nothing could be further from the truth. From our wedding […]
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Holiness and wholeness
Holiness is a big deal. It is the purpose of the Christian spiritual path. For some the word means sin-free for others it means living according to specific rules and having ordered your life in a specific way. For me Holiness means coming home. To be united with the divine spirit of love and to […]
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It’s happening!
After years of people telling us week in and week out, and after long contemplation, and after much soul searching, prayer, conversation and just a little bit of divine intervention we have decided to do it! It was simply a coincidence that we ran into an old friend who asked if we had been in […]
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Why I am religious AND spiritual
It has become very popular in the west to state that one is “spiritual and not religious”. For years I have felt that Religion was a bad thing and that religious was a derogatory term. For me religion was all the man made traditions and customs that many times where contradictory to scripture and inhibiting […]
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We are the dead
Halloween has just passed and as little ghosts and skeletons have been in and out our door in a quest for excitement and candy we have been clearing out som skeletons out of our closet. In many ways it has been the death of the old story, the old life and the old paradigm. Clearing […]
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Coming out …
Yesterday was a bit of a coming out process for me. The minute after I hit the publish key on my blog post was filled with a sense of immense release and freedom followed by “Oh my god, what have I done?”. For a moment I thought maybe not so many people would read it […]
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Our sacred journey
[et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″] [et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”] So if you have been reading my blog for a while you know that over the last couple of years I have deconstructed my faith and the Christian tradition me and Hanna have belonged to. This has included deconstructing our sexuality and the institution of marriage. This […]
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How to really touch someone
So I am hearing a lot of women say: He just doesn’t know how to touch me. Touch is one of our most basic forms of communication and is so important. It is at the very base of the mallow pyramid and one of our deepest needs. So here are some tips on how to […]
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Yes, you are decent people, but that is not what I had in mind
The words are from a poem written by a Hassidic mystic as he was adressing his disciples. So many times we confuse the call of religion with the call of society, to become decent, functional people. If our idea of following the spiritual path is to become successful or to fit in to today’s society […]
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Tree of life
The divine light filters down from the stars,into the fertile ground of our souls, seeding our innermost beings with love.The seeds that are growing, that has always been growing that will always growforms the tree of life ripe with precious fruit.As we reach up for the branches to the succulent fruits we know that the […]
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Sacred sexuality
I am getting some carefully worded questions on email and Facebook about this new direction we are moving in. Especially after the announcement that we are teaching at the Sacred Sexuality conference in Jerusalem. Any reader of this blog will know that I not only think that sexuality is an important part of being human […]
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The extraordinary in the ordinary
This morning it is easy to believe in magic. At the sun slowly rises out of the aegean sea and the sound of crashing waves envolopes my experience. The old sea battering this old Island saturated with myth and magic. The little boy in me stirs filled with wonder and awe. The wonders of story, […]
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Staying open…
For most people it is hard to open the heart. To just allow love to flow freely in and out. It is hard because we are so guarded, I think especially here in Scandinavia. A friend of mine argued yesterday that it has something to do with the cold and the light. We crawl deep […]
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The secret to getting what you want in life …
I am truly blessed, not long ago I had a conversation with a friend who accused me of “wanting to have it all” and in response I simply replied, yes, I do wan’t it all, and you know what, reflecting on it I do think I have it all. In fact the way my life […]
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I have lost a day …
Tears are streaming down her little face, she is furious and full of regret. She kicks and screams and the tears keep rolling. What is the matter honey? I ask my daughter. She looks at me bewildered, like I should know, like I should be automatically in tune with her current plight. She looks at […]
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Life sings to me …
I am sitting at a small cafe looking out over a busy street. The sun kisses my skin and fills me with life, love and power. People are walking about busy with their own lives, their own stories. There is a pulse, a rhythm unfolding before me and I feel the flow.There is a harmony, […]
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Greater things….
It is interesting when we read the Christian scriptures we are told in the gospel of John that Jesus tells the disciples that they will do greater things than him. Our reaction is immediate, how could anyone ever do greater things than Jesus, the son of god? Instantly forgetting that we to are the sons […]
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What if we could own our inability…
So in light of my most recent post on the Ashley Madison reveal and the churches inability to provide a positive alternative to the schools sex education (or lack of sex ed). I have been pondering what could we do … when I read this article voicing some of the same concerns and citing a […]
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Cover that up now please!
I am reading on facebook that 400 church leaders, Pastors and Deacons are resigning of the resent Ashley Madison reveal (article here). People are outraged and indignant. I am confused. Why does it surprise us when we have wrapped up sexuality in so many layers of taboo and shame? Does it really surprise us that leaders […]
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Precipice
Dreary darkness tightens around my heart. I feel the waves of lost emotion rolling in over the breakers, salty foam covering me. The full moon peers down from her perch, closer than ever drawing the waters out from the depths. It was a long time since I stood here on this precipice looking down into […]
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I used to avoid talking about sin, now I love it!
Sin and repentence are two Christian concepts that I used to have an issue with. I was taught that sin was both like a cancer in my soul and that sinner was my identity. I used to actually believe that when I sinned god would leave me and stay away from me and my life […]
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Differentiating the mature and immature feminine
Continuing this trek exploring the masculine and feminine the time has come to look at the immature and mature feminine. First a caveat: I am not a woman so while it is entirely possible for me to be in my immature or mature feminine it is not how I am wired. Robert Bly writes that […]
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The divine feminine
In the tantric tradition everything hinges on the polarity between the divine masculine, awareness and consciousness and the divine feminine, energy and life force. Everywhere we look we see this polarity between the outward and inward movement, the tension between the two. This is reflected in the Taoist tradition and we see it in pagan […]
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The divine masculine
As I was contemplating the mature and immature masculine yesterday I realised that in our confusion (or perhaps in my confusion, I don’t know how universal this is) we have lost the divine masculine. I have always been under the impression that we had lost the divine feminine but I think maybe I have gotten […]
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Differentiating the mature and immature masculine
Continuing the conversation about the mature and immature feminine and masculine. I will start looking at the masculine. In todays society we have a lot of the immature masculine going around. In fact there is a public caricature of what the masculine is that is solely based on the immature masculine and so for boys […]
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The masculine and feminine
In the wake on my post on feminism a conversation has started whether or not it is worth our time to even talk about masculine and feminine. Here in Sweden at least it’s a loaded topic. There is a large group of people claiming that the differences in masculine and feminine are simply social conditioning […]
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Feminism?
The other day I attended a beautiful concert at the Malmö Festival, being able to really enjoy the festival rather than work for the first time in 6 years. It was a nice show and the artist on stage had a very clear message of women liberation and empowerment. What struck me is that as […]
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Suppression or sublimation
According to the Enneagram there are three instinctual centers: Intellectual, emotional and instinctual or mind, heart, gut. In the same way we have many different bodies, a physical body, an emotional body and an energetic body. I could probably list more but lets stop there. Let’s have a look at the heart and the emotional […]
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Being queer – The censored post
This post was originally posted in september 2012 and taken of the blog that same month as requested by the Salvation Army national leadership. I am now reposting it as it was an important step on the journey. This post in itself was an experiment in being open, authentic and vulnerable. The post pushed a […]
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Have you no shame?
In my opinion shame is a disease in our modern society, it is a terrible evil that plagues most people whether they will admit to it or not. The first chapters of the holy scriptures used by all the abrahamite religions paint a beautiful picture of the first humans who where: “naked and not ashamed”. […]
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What now? Oh, that’s what!
As I have been at this crossroads for a while now, the dust seems to settle and maybe there is a clear path ahead. It feels scary and thrilling at the same time. I have for some time followed a path led by the divine spirit whispering in my heart the way I should go. […]
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In my power
It has been a long Journey for me to come from childhood to manhood. And then I am not talking about just getting old enough to call myself a man but to actually come to a place in life where I can truly say that I have come of age, and stepped into my power […]
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Owning my desire
Being Swedish, it has always been quite a challenge for me to really own my desire. In the church desire is in general frowned upon if not outright demonised, unless of course it is the desire for god. All other desire has at least in my mind been a temptation from the dark one. A […]
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Get lost!
The mind is a curious thing, every time we think we know something or someone the knowledge becomes cemented, static and we file it away for storage. The trouble is that life is change and anything cemented, static is dead. This is why life can only be found in our unknowing, changeable and in the […]
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The kiss that never was
A kiss that never was burns brightly on my lipsLuscious lips filled with love and lifeBouncy Laughter leaps in my heart and soulPositive bouyancy builds, I soar.Carefully I hide my treasure away and in the darkI longingly I bring it to my lips again and again The kiss that never was.
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I can swim!
I have spent most of my life being afraid of my emotions, not consciously as I have always seen myself as a sensitive guy, but rather unconsciously. Instead of feeling sad I have been thinking that I am sad. Instead of feeling joy, I have been thinking I am happy. Living in my head. […]
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Slow down!
This is my new refrain, Slow down! We are rushing through life (some more than others) at such a breakneck speed that we are missing it completely. Being and Enneagram seven, I can be so preoccupied with whatever is just over the horizon that I completely miss the now. With so many things going on […]
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I love you, now get out of my bed!
In most of my conversations with couples or persons in a couple relationship the subject of polarity comes up. It seems one of the hardest things to do is to keep polarity in a couple relationship. Partly this is simply biology. We are biologically programmed to lose sexual desire for anyone we live in close […]
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This is the end
So this is it, the last day at the Malmö Salvation Army, the last day as a Salvation Army officer. We are spending the day clearing out the office, which is almost like moving house. It’s been six hard years with a lot of opposition and slow progress, but has also been the most transforming […]
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Truth
I am the truth, the way and the life — Jesus It is funny how even though this statement of Jesus makes truth rather singular we still have so many different bids on the truth from different religions and different churches. Somehow we as humans seem to think that if we believe it hard enough […]
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Not a Christian anymore?
It’s funny what people will read out of my posts. I am getting the question if I am not a Christian anyomore. So I thought I would take a minute to adress this question. What is a Christian? To answer the question we must agree on what it is to be a Christian. There are […]
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Losing my religion
As we are walking away from organised religion there are a lot of interesting conversations going on around the dinner table in our house. Yesterday Hanna said something about the death of her ministry and how maybe she never felt quite comfortable with the title minister of religion. I think I can echo that thought. […]
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Sex: A highway to god!
I confess I have borrowed the title from Johan Ekenberg but it is true. God gave us the wonderful gift of sexuality not as a racy past time and not only as a means of reproduction but rather as a gateway to experience oneness and higher states of pleasure, bliss and consciousness. As Dossie Easton […]
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How could I not
How could I not fall as I teetered at the brink of your soul How could I resist a heart as open as yours How could I not awaken at the gentle touch of your hand You uncovered my soul You read my deepest secrets as if they were written on my skin You sailed […]
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Basic instinct
According to the Enneagram there are three basic instincts (subtypes) that govern our behavioural patterns. These basic instincts operate underneath the ego and all the strategies of our personality. The three instincts are: 1) Self preserving (sp) 2) Social (so) 3) Sexual (sx) There are simply three types of people. Imagine you walk into a […]
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Sex has become poisoned, this is why we cannot talk about it let alone celebrate it!
No matter how much the evangelical church might try to ignore or pretend that it doesn’t exist and in other ways silence the conversation, sex is still a foundational, central part of the humnan experience. Sometimes I think the religious movement hopes that if we just ignore or oppose it strongly enough it will dissapear […]
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How can I support you?
So in the wake of my last post the question begs to be asked… When you see a friend in need, he/she is hurting badly emotionally, how can be supportive and yet respect the process? 1) Clear your own crap first! Make sure that your need to help the other person does come from a […]
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Affirming love
I have spent the last week in paradise, surrounded by nature and open loving hearts. Every morning as a collective we would make the following affirmation: Today on this beautiful unique day, I decide to choose love.I choose love by forgiving those I did not forgive yet. I choose love today by paying attention to […]
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Opening up
If you, like me sometimes close down your heart. Either knowingly or unknowingly. You also need to open back up. Personally I think this becomes a daily spiritual practice of opening up and staying open. This can feel scary if you close down your heart because of heartbreak or other emotional trauma. Many people once […]
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Do you dare to live?
So in the aftermath of my recent emotional awakening experience I am left with this question. Do I really dare to live? Not just to be alive but to live fully, filled with life and experience to the brim, each day? Most of us, myself included, opt out. We siphon life into small and manageable […]
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I don’t know how it happened
It just did, one day I had stopped feeling. I was thinking a lot, thinking I was sad, happy or angry. But I wasn’t rally feeling it. My feelings dialed down to a low hum or buzzing at the bottom of my heart to low to even register. It must have happened gradually, little by […]