Category: Relationships
Ten years later – any wiser?
I was sitting on my brothers couch in Skarpnäck, Stockholm with him and his wife. As it often does, the polyamoury conversation came up. For once not the usual very intimate probing questions about bedroom activities. Rather the conversation was about emotions, communication and logistics. The conversation allowed me to reflect on the Journey so…
As far as I am concerned this is the end of your marriage!
It would be quite a rude thing to say in any situation but this came from somebody who is really close to the family. Not from someone who has read a blog post or two or a flimsy Facebook friends but we have never met acquaintance. This is from someone who where among the first…
Happy Validation Day
It’s that day again, that day when it is mandatory to be romantic, to excel at gestures that convey care and romantic love. It has been branded the Hallmark holiday, but why do we so intensely love/hate Valentines day? First of all let’s recognise that it has nothing to do with love. Valentines is the…
Relationship as a spiritual discipline
There are many that would balk at the notion of spiritual discipline as discipline in itself has almost become a bad word in todays society. We talk about disciplining our children as a bad thing (especially in the Scandinavian countries) as we equate discipline with violence or physical force. Other will embrace the idea of…
I don’t understand what you are doing….
We are just shy of two months out of the closet. Two months of reactions to us publicly announcing that we have left the sacred path of monogamy and decided to practice ethical non-monogamy. There has of course been many reactions all the way from: you are leading people to hell, to wow, that is…
True love
Disney has time and time again claimed that there is no higher power than this, that true love’s kiss is the most potent magic of all. This does of course come with the caveat that you can only have one true love and that comes with the constant fear that you may or may not…
I love you just the way you are ….
I am cleaning the house and dancing around the apartment with the monster we call a vacuum cleaner singing cheesy love songs. I find myself singing along to Billy Joel’s “Just the way you are” thinking it’s a song about accepting the other radically, unconditionally. I said I love you and that’s forever And this…
Relationship Anarchy
In the wake of my most recent post on how love is not static I would like to add some thoughts on what has been called relationship anarchy, a term coined by Dr Andy in 2004. Dr. Andy writes: “Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real…
Love is not static
It is especially true in relationships, love keeps changing and transforming and unless we change and transform with love we will “fall out of love”. The minute we freeze frame the relationship or our image of our partner, we are no longer dealing with reality or life, then we are dealing with a construct of…
Staying open…
For most people it is hard to open the heart. To just allow love to flow freely in and out. It is hard because we are so guarded, I think especially here in Scandinavia. A friend of mine argued yesterday that it has something to do with the cold and the light. We crawl deep…
The secret to getting what you want in life …
I am truly blessed, not long ago I had a conversation with a friend who accused me of “wanting to have it all” and in response I simply replied, yes, I do wan’t it all, and you know what, reflecting on it I do think I have it all. In fact the way my life…
I love you, now get out of my bed!
In most of my conversations with couples or persons in a couple relationship the subject of polarity comes up. It seems one of the hardest things to do is to keep polarity in a couple relationship. Partly this is simply biology. We are biologically programmed to lose sexual desire for anyone we live in close…
Opening up
If you, like me sometimes close down your heart. Either knowingly or unknowingly. You also need to open back up. Personally I think this becomes a daily spiritual practice of opening up and staying open. This can feel scary if you close down your heart because of heartbreak or other emotional trauma. Many people once…
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