I am getting some carefully worded questions on email and Facebook about this new direction we are moving in. Especially after the announcement that we are teaching at the Sacred Sexuality conference in Jerusalem.
Any reader of this blog will know that I not only think that sexuality is an important part of being human but that I also think that it is both foundational and central in a persons life. I find that this is true whether you walk the sacred path of celibacy or the sacred path of monogamy or the sacred path of polyamory. Our sexuality is part of who we are as beings. In one sense, it is who we are because it is the fire and passion that fuels the rest of our lives. Desire, passion or divine eros is what brings the sweetness, the juiciness and the power for us to accomplish anything or reach any goal. It is what drives us on this endless search for ways to find union with the divine.
I also believe talking about sexuality is of vital importance. Because not talking about leads to hiding and hiding leads to shame. I truly believe that shame is a cancer that slowly eats us up and hollows out our lives. It hinders us from living fully and having that abundant life that Jesus is talking about. As shame drives us into hiding it also creates a false sense of disconnect with the divine.
I am watching my friends one after one end their relationships and divorce. Not over the lack of sex necessarily, but shame, hiding, body image, self worth and lack of power and passion are factors every time. This is often recognised as the loss of spark, that leak of energy and tension that either comes of daily life drudgery or the wearing of of the chemical hit of falling in love or the biological change that happens with people we live together with. In each of this cases Sacred sexuality can do a lot to change the status quo. To shake things up and reignite the flame of passion and vibrancy in a relationship.
When Hanna and I started this journey we looked at sexology and sexibility which are two strong sex positive movements in Sweden but found that while they are willing to talk about sexuality and be positive about it, there was a piece missing.
The missing piece was the presence of divine love. As we searched for ways to navigate this new terrain in our lives we found sacred sexuality. It’s present in many different forms, traditions and organisations and we sampled some and found a few places where we could learn and gain the tools first to revive our own marriage but now also to help others with theirs.
Sacred sexuality is simply this: To see sexuality as a beautiful life giving gift that is at the core of who we are. The divine Eros that brings love, juice, creativity, passion and power to our lives. It is the cultivation, preserving and sublimation of sexual energy to use it as a furnace, a boiler and a fully charged battery to fuel every part of your life. It is sweetly making love to the universe in everything we do and allowing this sexual energy to be present as we dance, make love, clean the house, take the kids to school, shop at the supermarket, go to church, pray and play. It is entering orgasmic bliss as we move and love our way through life.
Sacred sexuality also means saying YES! Yes to life, yes to passion, yes to pleasure, yes to feeling, yes, yes, yes, and OH GOD YES!