Desire is part of who we are. We all have desires. Desires to be succesful, desires to be loved, desires to be touched.
Many of us also struggle with voicing our desires. Perhaps because we fear that we are not worthy to have our desires met or perhaps because we fear what other people will think of us if we voiced our innermost desires.
To get around this fear most people have adopted different types of strategies, strategies designed to allow us voice or to act on our desires and to not be held responsible.
A friend of mine calls this the “alibi” something or someone that we can pass the buck to, something we can blame if our desires are not received well. It can be a party game that allows us to act out our desires and blame it on the game. Recently I have immersed myself in the student culture at the university of Lund. The most commonly used alibi at the various social events have been alcohol.
Now to be fair the alcohol culture in sweden, especially among young people is not very healthy. In sweden alcohol is often not consumed because of it’s taste, and sometimes not even for the social aspect, but with the goal of getting drunk. My guess is that getting drunk allows one to voice and act out hidden desires and in the event of that not landing well or going badly we can say: the alcohol made me do it, and avoid culpability.
As human beings we all to often take this approach of setting up an alibi so that we can escape responsability, especially when it comes to our desires.
In the wildly popular TV-Show Lucifer (based on a character in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman) the devils superpower is to ask: “tell me what you really desire”, and get the deepest most honest answer. The thing is, as much as we would like to blame it on the devil, the alcohol or the game our desires are our own and nobody but ourselves can allow us to act upon them.
Wouldn’t it be much better if we could find a way not only to voice and act out our deepest desires in a sober state of mind (I am sure that more often than not, the outcome would be better) but also to own up to our desires.
If we could truly voice what we desire and act in accordance with those desires it may also allow us not to be so judgemental of others and their desires. I believe that most of our judgement of others desires is based on our own inability to voice and act out our own.
Why should it be the devil’s or the demons domain to lure our desires to the surface? Why should we have to hide behind games and or the haze of intoxication?
If we could state: this is my desire and afterwards when asked, I did it because it was what I desired, would it not allow us to walk with our heads high in our very own power?
Don’t wait for the devil or the partygame or anything else. Ask yourself today: What is my desire? Allow yourself the freedom to express that desire and see what happens. Maybe it will be realized sooner than you think.
