In the past week I have been in countless conversations about mine and Hanna’s chosen path. For the most part it has been deep and meaningful conversations where some parts of our journey and the sharing of it has been deeply healing for someone. Some conversations have been less than friendly and a very small portion downright hostile. What all these conversations have had in common is that they all centre around sex.
Granted I talk about sex and sexuality a lot, I write about it even more. However I really want to take this opportunity to set the record straight.
The sacred path of polyamory and having an open relationship is not (at least not for us) about sex. For me it is part of my spiritual path, it is a part of loving so deeply and boundlessly that there are no more boundaries between oneself and the other. It is allowing such measures of love in your life that it breaks open and transforms your very being. It is allowing love to get such a grip on you that it opens up your deepest hidden truths and brings out the shadow so that in the end you find a way to love, accept and forgive yourself. It is about union and It is about sharing this unity and love with others. It is about freedom, honesty and it is about generosity and hospitality, grace and love.
In the end not even sex is about sex. Sex is the longing for union, the longing for oneness; The longing for the divine.
I don’t mind talking about sexuality, I think it is meaningful and important. I find that our sexuality connects us both with our bodies and human experience and spirit. More importantly I find that when we block or repress our sexuality we no longer function fully physically and spiritually. Having said that I find that it is important to note that you can be fully sexual without having sex. Being sexual is the acceptance of the fullness of your being and offering this as a gift to yourself, to others and to the divine.
So in the end it is not about sex, it is about love and connecting with the divine.
- Our sacred journey
- Coming out …
- Relationship as a spiritual discipline
- I don’t understand what you are doing….
- Oh my, what a week!
- The sacred paths of relationships
- As far as I am concerned this is the end of your marriage!
- It’s not about sex
- What do we teach the children?
- True love
- The naked truth
- Relationship Anarchy
- Ten years later – any wiser?
[…] Another week has past since I posted “Our sacred journey” and there have been countless of private messages and questions, ranging from: “How dare you?” to “Congratulations, now tell me how I can get there.” Although in every conversation there is this dancing around the question: But are you having sex with others, outside of your marriage? Most of the time not actually spoken, but all the time implied. It is sad and frustrating that in 2015, we still have a problem talking about sex and sexuality even when someone else is opening up the conversation. But then again being poly is not about sex. […]