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Notes from the margins….
It is rather ironic to have a middle aged, white, man talk un-ironically of marginalisation. And yet one should not judge a book by it’s cover and rather take in the often surprising adventure that is hidden inside. Not everything is what it looks like, rather perception often misleads as it always carries our bias […]
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The “Devil” made me do it!
Desire is part of who we are. We all have desires. Desires to be succesful, desires to be loved, desires to be touched. Many of us also struggle with voicing our desires. Perhaps because we fear that we are not worthy to have our desires met or perhaps because we fear what other people will […]
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Eros is calling!
I am watching the first season of Sandman on Netflix and I am taken aback by the powerful message about the importance of hope. Where in the end of episode for “No hope in hell”, the main character Morpheus, dream of the endless beats Lucifer Morningstar by invoking hope as the ultimate power. In the […]
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After all this time …
Looking back and reaching forward What a journey it has been. This blog has been my refuge and companion through the last 15 years. It bears witness of a circutious trek through the very wilderness of faith, theology, life, sexuality and what it means to be human. So many posts, so many turns, so much […]
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And I will give you rest
Last night I dreamt that I was about to deliver a sermon in a small church with a few broken people in the audience. A young woman who just lost the love of her life, a group of elderly ladies that where angry that their world was changing to much, a young man who had […]
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7 ways to become a better lover over night
Whether we like it or not sexual prowess is one of the yardsticks we use to measure our self worth. Many of us feel that we fall short in the bedroom. Mostly this is due to a lack of practical sexual education when we grew up and a lack of communication between partners, we don’t […]
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What is Sacred Sexuality
I have an ambivalent relationship to the term sacred sexuality. Using the word seems to imply that there is such a thing as not sacred sexuality or unholy sexuality. To me Sacred sexuality simply means that I hold all sexuality sacred. All intimate moments are sacred whether or not we acknowledge that they are. I […]
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Today I am angry
I am angry at the person who picked up a gun and murdered all those people in Orlando, I am angry at all the people who thinks that any kind of violence is justified in any situation. I am angry at the Christians who think that anything could justify these horrific actions. It doesn’t matter […]
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The straight and narrow
“For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matt 7.14 NRSV) There is this idea, because of this verse, that being a Christian should be difficult and hard and to that effect the church has through the centuries created different sets of […]
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As far as I am concerned this is the end of your marriage!
It would be quite a rude thing to say in any situation but this came from somebody who is really close to the family. Not from someone who has read a blog post or two or a flimsy Facebook friends but we have never met acquaintance. This is from someone who where among the first […]
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The great experiment
The last days I have been exposed to the marvellous jungle that is Human Design. I have skirted the system a few times before and always avoided to take a closer look but this time I was drawn in by a siren song and could not help myself but to respond to the call. According […]
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Relationship as a spiritual discipline
There are many that would balk at the notion of spiritual discipline as discipline in itself has almost become a bad word in todays society. We talk about disciplining our children as a bad thing (especially in the Scandinavian countries) as we equate discipline with violence or physical force. Other will embrace the idea of […]
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The refugee crisis is more important than LGBTQi rights, sexuality, tantra and spiritual nonsense
I have had this expressed to me, maybe not in those exact words but the sentiment is there. Why focus on LGBTQi rights and human sexuality when there is poverty, war and other atrocities going on in the world? Coming out of the closet and breaking up with shame Coming out of the closet, owning […]
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The game that I have played
I had a beautiful cacao ceremony with Keith the Chocolate Shaman.We where sitting in the Sanctuary perched precariously on a slope going down to Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. The sun was shining in the background I could hear the birds and an occasional tuc tuck racing by. we lifted our cups and invite the spirit […]
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Why celebrate Christmas?
Today I was challenged, why do I celebrate this commercial holiday and pass it on to my children. What could possibly merit the perpetuation of this madness? I do, in fact have an issue with the entire Christmas hype. The manic shopping the gruelling pressure to get presents right and to pretend that everything is […]
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Earth, birth, blood and sexuality
It is that time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Or at least that is the excuse we have to go all nuts with lights, chocolate, food and presents. In many ways Christmas has become the holiday of commercialism … which in one way is fitting as money is earth energy. But […]
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Freedom
For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (NRSV) It is a pertinent question, why did god give us freedom? Why where we burdened with choice? Hindsight being 20/20 it seems that it was a mistake to allow the human race […]
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Spirituality, Sexuality, Social justice
This is the teaching shared at the first MCC heart gathering in Malmö on the 6th of December 2015. The Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), also known as the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC), is an international Protestant Christian denomination. There are 222 member congregations in 37 countries, and the Fellowship has a specific […]
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Falling in love
It’s a funny phrase isn’t it. We say that we fall in love like it was an open manhole cover on our way to work. Like we have nothing to do with it, like it is completely out of our control. We seem to think that love over powers us and strong-arms us into submission […]
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True love
Disney has time and time again claimed that there is no higher power than this, that true love’s kiss is the most potent magic of all. This does of course come with the caveat that you can only have one true love and that comes with the constant fear that you may or may not […]
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The naked truth
Another week has past since I posted “Our sacred journey” and there have been countless of private messages and questions, ranging from: “How dare you?” to “Congratulations, now tell me how I can get there.” Although in every conversation there is this dancing around the question: But are you having sex with others, outside of […]
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Relationship Anarchy
In the wake of my most recent post on how love is not static I would like to add some thoughts on what has been called relationship anarchy, a term coined by Dr Andy in 2004. Dr. Andy writes: “Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real […]
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Love is not static
It is especially true in relationships, love keeps changing and transforming and unless we change and transform with love we will “fall out of love”. The minute we freeze frame the relationship or our image of our partner, we are no longer dealing with reality or life, then we are dealing with a construct of […]
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Oh my, what a week!
Today is fathers day and I am promptly staying in bed, drinking tea and slowly looking at the world and my life with awe and wonder. Earlier in the week I had a lunch with a friend who told me that to boost her ego she would look at the girls from school who used […]
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It’s not about sex
In the past week I have been in countless conversations about mine and Hanna’s chosen path. For the most part it has been deep and meaningful conversations where some parts of our journey and the sharing of it has been deeply healing for someone. Some conversations have been less than friendly and a very small […]
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Holiness and wholeness
Holiness is a big deal. It is the purpose of the Christian spiritual path. For some the word means sin-free for others it means living according to specific rules and having ordered your life in a specific way. For me Holiness means coming home. To be united with the divine spirit of love and to […]
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Why I am religious AND spiritual
It has become very popular in the west to state that one is “spiritual and not religious”. For years I have felt that Religion was a bad thing and that religious was a derogatory term. For me religion was all the man made traditions and customs that many times where contradictory to scripture and inhibiting […]
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We are the dead
Halloween has just passed and as little ghosts and skeletons have been in and out our door in a quest for excitement and candy we have been clearing out som skeletons out of our closet. In many ways it has been the death of the old story, the old life and the old paradigm. Clearing […]
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Our sacred journey
[et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″] [et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”] So if you have been reading my blog for a while you know that over the last couple of years I have deconstructed my faith and the Christian tradition me and Hanna have belonged to. This has included deconstructing our sexuality and the institution of marriage. This […]
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How to really touch someone
So I am hearing a lot of women say: He just doesn’t know how to touch me. Touch is one of our most basic forms of communication and is so important. It is at the very base of the mallow pyramid and one of our deepest needs. So here are some tips on how to […]
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Yes, you are decent people, but that is not what I had in mind
The words are from a poem written by a Hassidic mystic as he was adressing his disciples. So many times we confuse the call of religion with the call of society, to become decent, functional people. If our idea of following the spiritual path is to become successful or to fit in to today’s society […]
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Sacred sexuality
I am getting some carefully worded questions on email and Facebook about this new direction we are moving in. Especially after the announcement that we are teaching at the Sacred Sexuality conference in Jerusalem. Any reader of this blog will know that I not only think that sexuality is an important part of being human […]
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The extraordinary in the ordinary
This morning it is easy to believe in magic. At the sun slowly rises out of the aegean sea and the sound of crashing waves envolopes my experience. The old sea battering this old Island saturated with myth and magic. The little boy in me stirs filled with wonder and awe. The wonders of story, […]
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Staying open…
For most people it is hard to open the heart. To just allow love to flow freely in and out. It is hard because we are so guarded, I think especially here in Scandinavia. A friend of mine argued yesterday that it has something to do with the cold and the light. We crawl deep […]
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The secret to getting what you want in life …
I am truly blessed, not long ago I had a conversation with a friend who accused me of “wanting to have it all” and in response I simply replied, yes, I do wan’t it all, and you know what, reflecting on it I do think I have it all. In fact the way my life […]
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I have lost a day …
Tears are streaming down her little face, she is furious and full of regret. She kicks and screams and the tears keep rolling. What is the matter honey? I ask my daughter. She looks at me bewildered, like I should know, like I should be automatically in tune with her current plight. She looks at […]
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Greater things….
It is interesting when we read the Christian scriptures we are told in the gospel of John that Jesus tells the disciples that they will do greater things than him. Our reaction is immediate, how could anyone ever do greater things than Jesus, the son of god? Instantly forgetting that we to are the sons […]
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I used to avoid talking about sin, now I love it!
Sin and repentence are two Christian concepts that I used to have an issue with. I was taught that sin was both like a cancer in my soul and that sinner was my identity. I used to actually believe that when I sinned god would leave me and stay away from me and my life […]
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Differentiating the mature and immature feminine
Continuing this trek exploring the masculine and feminine the time has come to look at the immature and mature feminine. First a caveat: I am not a woman so while it is entirely possible for me to be in my immature or mature feminine it is not how I am wired. Robert Bly writes that […]
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Differentiating the mature and immature masculine
Continuing the conversation about the mature and immature feminine and masculine. I will start looking at the masculine. In todays society we have a lot of the immature masculine going around. In fact there is a public caricature of what the masculine is that is solely based on the immature masculine and so for boys […]
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The masculine and feminine
In the wake on my post on feminism a conversation has started whether or not it is worth our time to even talk about masculine and feminine. Here in Sweden at least it’s a loaded topic. There is a large group of people claiming that the differences in masculine and feminine are simply social conditioning […]
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Feminism?
The other day I attended a beautiful concert at the Malmö Festival, being able to really enjoy the festival rather than work for the first time in 6 years. It was a nice show and the artist on stage had a very clear message of women liberation and empowerment. What struck me is that as […]
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Suppression or sublimation
According to the Enneagram there are three instinctual centers: Intellectual, emotional and instinctual or mind, heart, gut. In the same way we have many different bodies, a physical body, an emotional body and an energetic body. I could probably list more but lets stop there. Let’s have a look at the heart and the emotional […]
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Have you no shame?
In my opinion shame is a disease in our modern society, it is a terrible evil that plagues most people whether they will admit to it or not. The first chapters of the holy scriptures used by all the abrahamite religions paint a beautiful picture of the first humans who where: “naked and not ashamed”. […]
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What now? Oh, that’s what!
As I have been at this crossroads for a while now, the dust seems to settle and maybe there is a clear path ahead. It feels scary and thrilling at the same time. I have for some time followed a path led by the divine spirit whispering in my heart the way I should go. […]
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In my power
It has been a long Journey for me to come from childhood to manhood. And then I am not talking about just getting old enough to call myself a man but to actually come to a place in life where I can truly say that I have come of age, and stepped into my power […]
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I can swim!
I have spent most of my life being afraid of my emotions, not consciously as I have always seen myself as a sensitive guy, but rather unconsciously. Instead of feeling sad I have been thinking that I am sad. Instead of feeling joy, I have been thinking I am happy. Living in my head. […]
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Losing my religion
As we are walking away from organised religion there are a lot of interesting conversations going on around the dinner table in our house. Yesterday Hanna said something about the death of her ministry and how maybe she never felt quite comfortable with the title minister of religion. I think I can echo that thought. […]
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Affirming love
I have spent the last week in paradise, surrounded by nature and open loving hearts. Every morning as a collective we would make the following affirmation: Today on this beautiful unique day, I decide to choose love.I choose love by forgiving those I did not forgive yet. I choose love today by paying attention to […]
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Non attachment
In eastern traditions detachment or non attachment is an important part of the spiritual practice. The idea is that you should not become atatched to things or persons so that these will not control you. “Things arise and she lets them come, things disappear and she lets them go. She has, but doesn’t possess, acts […]
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Do you dare to live?
So in the aftermath of my recent emotional awakening experience I am left with this question. Do I really dare to live? Not just to be alive but to live fully, filled with life and experience to the brim, each day? Most of us, myself included, opt out. We siphon life into small and manageable […]
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I don’t know how it happened
It just did, one day I had stopped feeling. I was thinking a lot, thinking I was sad, happy or angry. But I wasn’t rally feeling it. My feelings dialed down to a low hum or buzzing at the bottom of my heart to low to even register. It must have happened gradually, little by […]
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So long and thanks for all the fish
Every Journey must come to an end and this is the end of our journey in the Salvation Army. It has been a great journey of trials and growth personally and professionally. So what does one say at the end of a journey? Stepping into the blue We are taking a step out into the […]
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